Why do I even try if I’m not getting anywhere, if there is no reward for all that I do? Is this some sort of punishment or retribution for something? ‘Cause if it is, I’d sure like to know why. There’s an ache in my chest and I  keep blinking because my eyes are being covered in liquid. If I think about it this way, emotions are so silly, sort of pointless almost because all I ever seem to feel is disappointment. Disappointed in me, and you. Me because I try so hard to keep you, to make myself believe it’ll be alright, that you care. And then I berate myself because I know you do, but it’s so hard to see. So much so that it’s becoming hard to believe sometimes. Disappointed in you because I don’t see you putting in as much effort but when you do, anger at myself for ever having these thoughts.  It’s a mess. Everything is a mess. The weather seems to be echoing my pain, or rather, venting it for me.

“You’re not sad because it’s raining. It’s raining because you’re sad.” – Men in Black II

If only I could be so lucky.


1 Response to “Disappointment”

  1. 1 momo July 12, 2009 at 1:27 am

    Don’t be sad, get glad! Look forward to college. I think too much sometimes – look to the future. Start a Quidditch team at RU :P I find keeping myself busy keeps your mind off things, maybe that will work for you. Disappointment is an inherent part of life, but you can control how much you let it affect you- maybe not all the time, but sometimes at least.

    I hope this helps. Please feel better. Sorry if I intruded too much ><

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