Verbal Vomitting

I feel so helpless. There are people around me who ask for my help and I am unable to do anything. Well, that’s not entirely true. I help to the best of my abilities, but sometimes the best of my abilities is just not enough. Especially when it’s a close friend who needs help emotionally. I wish I could say more to them, but in the end it will all be up to their choices and their thoughts, their voice. And though sometimes I wish I could be selfish and say what I want to say and what I want them to hear from me, I need to remove myself emotionally and view the issue from a third point of view. I am not included. My own feelings do not count because they do not matter. Making those kinds of decisions while removing oneself emotionally is so difficult that the answer can only result in something half-hearted and very vague. Bias sucks.

People are so difficult to understand. It’s difficult dealing with them, being around them, loving them, hating them. Why did life decide to throw all these curveballs at us? It’s not like we’re running away anywhere, because where can we go? This is where we are and our life is what we make of it.

I wish things could just work out without me having to do anything to it, but obviously that’s not going to happen. My philosophy for life doesn’t usually work out, so why do I ever bother? Because that’s who I am, and I can’t change it.


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