Reflections

I’ve been reflecting upon this past year and how much it has affected me. I’ve come to understand certain things about myself due to events that have happened. I like being able to say I’m an English major, and not being afraid to admit that. I like not getting strange looks when I do tell people I am an English major. I miss books. I miss touching the faint raised lines the words make across the page, rubbing my thumb and forefinger together to grasp that single leaf before I read on, the musky smell of knowledge and adventure held within its bindings. Hugs and kisses are great, but deep thought-provoking conversations about life are great too. By thought-provoking, I mean personal life adventures and secrets, getting to know someone better. I’m slowly learning to open up to people. I’m still afraid, still quiet, but I’m finding people who I don’t have to worry what I reveal and what they’ll think because they know me for me. I’m letting out the adventurous side of me and finding the road less traveled, but it’s the road I find more fun and more fit for me. I’ve experienced love, lost love, different types of love, and I’m slowly piecing together the pieces of what kind of love I am looking for. Who is the right kind of person for me. I’m making my way there, slowly but surely. I’m pushing the boundaries of my Asian upbringing and confinement and spreading my roots to deeper and more nutritious soil. These past 19 years I’ve been growing physically, but now, I think, I’m finally beginning to grow emotionally. With time comes wisdom. It is so true. I only wish I found it sooner, but now that I have I want to learn to let go of my old ways and make the most of what will come. These days are just beginning, these reflections are only the start of what will come. I can’t wait.

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