just trying to be somebody

I’ve decided that in order to promote my writing of this blog, that if I click on the wordpress icon to my page and I am not automatically logged in, I have not been here in a long time and I am obligated to write something. If I am logged in, then it should be even more reason to write.

It’s holiday season. Being new to wordpress, kind of, seeing the front page of wordpress with the little snowflakes cascading down reminded me of the little snow flurries that drifted down throughout the day today. I really wish it would snow soon. My birthday’s coming up and it would be even better than what I am hoping it will be if it snows. That would be like the cherry on top.

I must admit, my previous present giving years I have not been giving to the fullest of my potential. Hearing all these creative and thoughtful gifts my boyfriend spoke of, I felt like a jerk. It’s always the best to give creative gifts, but every year I manage to only buy something, wrap it, and then give the gift. I suppose it’s because I never really pulled out my full creative potential and I didn’t really know the person too well. Again, I must thank you [my love] for helping bring more creativity to my life. I didn’t even notice that I was being a little creative with your store bought present, but now I understand that I was doing what I figured would make you happy, and by doing that I was incurring my creative ability and sparking it. Hopefully it all goes over well and I can make my presents more creative.

Although, I must say, presents in my family seem more like an obligatory thing than something heartfelt. Almost like an obligatory “Happy Birthday” when you hear it’s someone’s birthday. You might not even know the person, but here’s a happy birthday to you! It means nothing. Perhaps that’s almost how it is with my family. We’re keeping American tradition by giving presents that the receiver will probably enjoy, but it’s not that heartwarming. It’s just materialistic. The joy of giving. I yearn to feel that this year.

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