The point of it all

I’ve got a tumblr but I don’t really know what to do with it. I’ve got a wordpress but I don’t really know what to do with that either. I’ve actually got a few different wordpress’s. I’ve got a high school degree but there’s nothing for me to do with it. I’m aiming for a college bachelor’s degree but what am I supposed to do with it? Find a job? Make a living? Chain myself to a life of commuting at 9 in the morning and 5 in the afternoon to support the husband and kids so they might have a future different from me?

Everything I’ve ever known is turning on its head since I met the people I’ve met in college, especially him. There are days when I wonder why I throw myself and lose myself in a relationship but it feels so happy that I can’t let go.

There’s this tumblr I follow and her writing is so pure and beautiful it makes my memories seem so small in comparison. I wonder how she can possibly remember so much from her life when I can barely remember what I did yesterday. It took me so long to fully understand the concept of time and how to recognize the shifts in seasons and the different things that came along with it. Does that mean that I was enjoying everything without worrying about life? How can it be enjoyment when I don’t even remember. I suppose the only thing I’m actually good at is forgetting. It’s so easy to forget. I do it so well, it’s frightening. I want to start remembering. Everything.


2 Responses to “The point of it all”

  1. 1 john henry May 9, 2011 at 1:02 am

    you are good at many things—hugging, kissing, eating dumplings, making me take my medicine. living life will always be more important than remembering it. life can give itself meaning, but memories depend on life in order to hang onto the thin driftwood of existence as they float out of our minds. lost in a sea of future and dreams i suppose. beats immaculate memory, in my opinion.

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